to the girls who walked into my life, stayed and then left. some of you stayed decades. others a few years. some of you a couple months. one of you came over for dinner and never came back. this is for you.
i am always grateful for the footprints left behind. it shows your journey and each step you took while in my life was important; no matter how long you walked alongside me. i don’t hold a grudge against you. maybe you didn’t like me as a person. maybe you outgrew me. maybe your jealousy got in the way. maybe i was too fat to be your friend [that is totally a thing- shoutout to some girls in high school who said i was too fat to hangout with]. whatever your reason was- i bet it was perfect in the moment.
but don’t forget the heartache you left behind. the memories are still here. the shell of a deserted friendship still stands. the moments still linger. and while you can’t spell friendship without ‘end’ and not everything can last forever, sometimes it’s hard to accept that not everyone wants to be your friend. i am at a point in my life where i can count my friends on one hand. which they say is the best kind of friend situation to have. but there are times when i don’t know who to turn to and talk about what’s bothering me. sometimes i struggle finding the right person to text about the stress in my life or something that happened at work or something dumb that my husband said. it’s hard being an adult friend because the judgement is still there. you just want genuine and real friends but the truth is; you’ve been burned before.
so to those who have left; thank you for being here while you were. thank you for teaching me to keep searching for the people who deserve my heart. thank you for the lessons along the way. i know i am not perfect and i know i have a lot of work to do- but in the end, i know that i am always a good friend.
we shouldn’t settle for less in the people we give the most too. above all else, guard your heart.
One thought on “to the girls who don’t wanna be friends anymore.”
Alix. This is everything. A dear friend of mine from college and I no longer speak and it eats me up inside. I felt extra drawn to this article because I have literally felt a worst heartbreak from that then any other relationship lost before. I hope you know you’re not alone and hope we can connect (finally) once I’m back in Maryland! (disregard the previous comment account hahaha)
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