nothing makes my blood boil more than when someone knocks you down. when someone takes your fear and tries to shrink its impact. when someone grabs your anxiety and shakes all of the weight out of it. when some takes your balloon and deflates all of the hot air out of it. catching my drift? we all can also call it ‘belittling’. and it does exactly that. it shrinks you down and suddenly you become little. someone else has taken everything and stomped it down.

i don’t want to be little. i want to be big. i want to talk about what scares me, what keeps me up at night, what made me sad, what hurt me. and if you belittle me, i can’t grow or gain strength or wake up or heal. i know it sounds crazy to say that you don’t want someone to take these things away; but the reality is- fear and anxiety and worry and pain and stress; all of these things have to be felt and have to be dealt with before they can ever exist as something else.

how many times have you reached out to someone in a time of stress or panic for them to respond with ‘you’ll be fine’ or ‘don’t worry’. {insert eye roll and middle finger here} please do not belittle me. please do not belittle my feelings, whatever they are. help me become bigger. help me become so big that i can step all over the demons that slip through the broken parts. if you have these feelings, you need to know these three things:

{one}• you are so not alone. at all. if there is anything that my twenties have taught me; it’s that they absolutely suck. the limbo. the career shifts. the end of friendships. the breakups. the empty bank accounts. the car payments. the heartaches. the sleepless nights. the student loans. all of it sucks. but, you’re not alone. and none of that deserves to be shut down or shut out.

{two}• there will always be someone in your life who is a belittler. and that person hasn’t found the right person to smack them. {i am fully supportive of you taking someone out who belittles but i can’t tell you what to do with your life}. so, if you have one in your life; say goodbye. {oh wait, i guess i am telling you what to do with your life}. nobody needs that kind of negativity in their life. belittlers are right up there with people who promote celery as a perfect snack. bye. {celery is green cardboard, let’s call it what it is okay? great.}

and after two comes {three}• these feelings; the ones that absolutely wreck your good night’s sleep. the ones that take your appetite away or make you binge eat oreos over the kitchen sink. the ones that bring fresh tears just thinking about them. or the ones that cause you to scream at your husband for not unloading the dishwasher. whatever these feelings are; own them. my mother always said ‘feelings are not right or wrong, they just are’ and it’s probably the most accurate statement ever. own them. accept them. handle them. don’t let someone step on them and deflate them. find someone who helps you carry them until you’re ready to drop them off at baggage claim and pray they make it to a new destination.

take the fear, the stress, the anxiety, the hate, the worry, the pain, the guilt, the whatevers. take em’ and work through them because when you let someone squash your feelings, you never fully ditch the suitcases filled with your heaviest thoughts.

x, alix

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