loops.

hey y’all. welcome back to my channel. that’s literally what i say every time my class walks in my door. it never gets old. but anyways, it’s been a minute. and if you know me well, then you know exactly why. life has handed me a few loops lately. some were donut sized and others could fit around saturn like an extra ring. some felt like it took everything out of me to navigate and others were manageable. but here’s the thing about me and loops; every time i get thrown for one, i start to doubt if i am capable. which is such a cop out btdubs. because we are always capable. we just don’t always know it. or sometimes we have people lurking around us, pushing our feelings into weird places. sometimes the doubt comes from a place where it had laid to rest some time ago and now here you are, battling it with a sword. everyone has different loops, higher hurdles, harder battles, thicker forests, windier paths, scarier bridges. for me, mine are often just loops, too many of them; sometimes linked too close together so it almost feels like as soon as i get through the first one, the second one scoops me up. and honestly; in my former life, i would’ve fallen to pieces. and by former life i mean when i was fifteen and twenty two and anytime my husband has been furloughed. but in all fairness, sometimes i just couldn’t see the surface. i felt dragged under by all the loops and all the bullshit and it was just so hard to find a way up. but i always figured it out. and that’s probably what built the doubt that lurks in the corner sometimes. the notion that you can do hard things is true, ya know. wanna know how i know? because life is a hard thing and we are doing the damn thing. and here’s the thing; i know y’all have heard me preach about a bazillion different things. from doing you to not letting go to shaking off all the bad vibes to being extra as hell. and i am here for all of it. but i am also all about rising above the doubt. because we are capable. we were made from burning fires and scalding hot forces. we were made from bricks not straw and we can do hard things. we can jump through high hoops. we can surf dangerous waters and navigate the dark waters. we are capable. we are not doubtful, we are not weak, we are not fearful.

because doubt shrinks us down. doubt puts us out of the driver’s seat. doubt takes the wheel. and we can have the control. we can do hard things. because we’ve been doing hard things. since day one. every time that we survive a hard day or a scary meeting or a confrontation or a bad accident or a rough patch; we come out on the other side. yeah, we might be tear stained and out of breath. we might be weak in the knees and tired at our hearts. we might have left someone behind or carried someone with us. but we always saw the other side of the loop. we always found our way around it or through it or under it or over it.

so here’s to the doubt. may she slip back into hibernation. i am not asking for her to slip into oblivion because sometimes, she’s a motivator. but i ain’t asking her to come out and play. these hoops and loops and waves and miles and paths are ours. they are here to shape us. they are here to make us. they are here to teach us. so let’s do it and let doubt get an extra few minutes of sleep so we get the head start and she never catches up.

xo.

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